I’m sure now that we are in the year 2020, most couples out there know what first looks are BUT just for the sake of clarity, a first look is when the couple sees each other before the ceremony – put simply. It’s the opportunity to spend time just the two of you before the hustle and bustle of the day takes over.

Now the thing about first looks is that it is not traditional. I don’t want to take away from that point below because I used it as a con haha but it’s true. Seeing each other before the ceremony means that the tradition of first seeing what the other looks like for the first time, on wedding day, at the aisle, does not happen. However, it is important to note that seeing each other before the ceremony will not take away from the moment of seeing each other at the aisle, because no matter how many times you see each other beforehand – that moment at the aisle will only ever happen once, and when it happens with the person you’re marrying at the other end of the aisle, it is the first time seeing each other AT THE AISLE.

It may not be the first time seeing each other ever that day… but it’s the first time you’ll see each other at the aisle. Even if you did do a first look 🙂 But I’m getting ahead of myself! Here are the list of pros below:

Pros:

Pro #1: Doing a first look eases the nerves!

This is one of the biggest reasons given from all my couples that have done a first look! There is so much momentum and planning leading up to this day that when each hour gets closer and closer to the ceremony, there is nothing the couple wants more than to just see their best friend and ease all the nerves that are there. And I think that helps immensely when it comes to photos! As opposed to having to capture the emotion built up to the moment at the aisle (where sometimes we just can’t capture it because of people taking photos in the aisle or because of how we’re positioned) we instead have the freedom and space to capture the moment of seeing each other for the first time without any distractions or hindrances.

Pro #2: Doing a first look gives the opportunity of reading your vows to each other by yourselves instead of 150+ guests watching.

Part of the nerves that come with weddings are being up in front of all your friends and family and reading your vows. This was the other popular reason given for doing a first look. Not only does doing a first look give you the chance to say your vows without other eyes watching, it also gives you the chance to really have that moment to make your promises to the other person alone without any distractions. And, it makes reading them during the ceremony easier because you’ve already ran through them 😉

Even if you don’t want to read your vows, that’s totally fine too! You can also write a letter, or read nothing and simply hug them for 20 minutes 😉

Pro #3: Doing a first look allows for efficiency!

Normally, one of the driving factors for doing a first look has to do with the amount of time it takes to photograph what needs to be photographed after the ceremony. If nothing is done beforehand, that means that the bridesmaid & groomsmen group photos need to get done as well as: the whole wedding party, family photos and portraits of the couple. Can this be done in a 1 hour timeframe? Sure. But not without sacrificing quality. Don’t get me wrong those photos will still be beautiful, but the focus of the time will be to end before the reception – not to create artistic and creative images that evoke emotion and memory. Does that make sense? The focus is “I can’t make the wedding late” not “How can I compose this shot so that it creates a timeless memory for them to cherish forever?”

Doing a first look allows for a majority of the images to be done beforehand AND it means more images of the two of you! Doing a first look means you can knock out ALL of the group shots beforehand so that when the time cocktail hour comes the only thing we have to photograph are just portraits of the couple – which we call romantics 🙂

Doing a first look also allows for the emotions of other people to be captured as well. I mentioned earlier about how sometimes capturing the emotions of seeing each other for the first time at the aisle can be difficult/hindered depending on the circumstances. Well, by doing a first look, even though it is still 1000% important to capture the emotions of seeing each other at the aisle, there is less pressure to stare intently at the bride and groom ONLY, and more opportunity to capture the moms wiping away the tears, or the sweet look your dad just gave you as he realizes he is walking his little girl down the aisle. If you value the emotional story-telling of the day, then consider doing a first look so that your photographers have more freedom to capture the emotions of your guests – something you probably wouldn’t otherwise see because in that moment you are fixated on your hubby (and rightfully so!) 🙂

Pro #4: Doing a first look relieves stress.

One of THE most important factors for how your wedding photos will turn out is the amount of stress involved in the day. Stress is an emotion killer. It makes all our brains begin to function in survival mode instead of hey-we-should-be-enjoying-the-moments mode. Stress isn’t just a kill joy for the couple, it’s also a kill joy for the vendors – including photography. Stress kills our creativity and stifles our artistic ability. It keeps us from looking at a situation with eyes of story-telling composition and puts the blinders of “needing to be on time” on our eyes.

It is SO crucial that you feel relaxed on your wedding day. And even though that is still entirely possible without a first look, having a first look definitely helps in facilitating times for you guys to just CHILL, RELAX and ENJOY the moments of your wedding day!

Cons:

Con #1: You see each other.

This was the biggest reason that my couples gave who did not do a first look. They were not able to describe the feeling they had being able to see one another for the first time at the ceremony, and it’s true. Even with all the wonderful things that come with doing first looks, it doesn’t change the fact that you are still seeing each other before the ceremony. Whether you believe in the saying “It’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding” or you just strongly feel that you really and truly want to see your best friend for the first time that day at the aisle, it doesn’t matter – that’s okay! I think it’s so easy to be pushed and pulled every which way when it comes to wedding planning, but ultimately it’s important to remember that no matter how many different ways you’re being pulled – what you feel to your core is still the most important thing, and if that means you two don’t see each other, then so be it! No matter how much I might suggest a first look, I will ALWAYS respect if you choose to not do one. I am here to serve you, not to fulfill my own agenda 🙂

Con #2: The Day Starts Earlier

Even though first looks do help with efficiency, one of the things to realize is that it also affects how early the day starts. Doing a first look means that everyone has to start getting ready earlier, which could mean a longer day. For example, if your wedding ceremony is at 3pm and you are doing a first look, that means all photos have to be done by 2:30pm. Which means probably starting around 12/12:30pm, which means being in your dress by 11:30am which means being done with makeup and hair by 10:30am/11am. And if you have a lot of girls by your side, that could mean that you start as early as 5 or 6am. Not always true, but sometimes it is!

Con #3: Timeline adjustment

Similar to the reason above, doing a first look means that your schedule might not be what you originally thought. It does create an adjustment to the timeline that can sometimes be over looked when in communication with other vendors. Sometimes the hair and makeup people think they have up until just before the ceremony to get the bride all done up, but if the timeline in adjusted without communicating that to them or without planning ahead, it can cause the wedding the fall behind.

Con #3: Pressure/Expectation

Just because first looks take away the pressure/stress from the ceremony, doesn’t mean it’s automatically stress free! Sometimes there’s a pressure to react a certain way. We’ve all heard it “If I don’t see you crying when you first see me, I’m turning around and trying again!”

It also doesn’t help that there are a million crying photos of first looks on Pinterest portraying that every single bride and groom will be bawling their eyes out. That’s just not necessarily true! Not all of us are as emotional as the people going viral on Instagram – AND THAT’S OKAY. There is nothing that makes your first look less special than someone else’s just because you guys don’t react a certain a way. But sometimes, having a first look can unnecessarily create expectations.

I hope that this blog post was helpful for those of you who may be wondering whether or not to do a first look! I just want to re-iterate again that no matter what decision you make I will always support you 🙂

Kate