#1: LESS PLANNING STRESS
I don’t think it’s news to you to know that planning a wedding for 150+ guests can be extremely stressful. Your time and efforts are out of a desire to make sure they are fed, comfortable, happy and accommodated. And that’s totally not a bad thing! Having a more traditional wedding in that way shows a special love for your guests that wouldn’t be shown otherwise, but that amount of stress (and stress in general) can affect so many parts of the day: efficiency, joy, time, health, appearance, sleep and so much more. If you are having to make the decision about whether or not you need to go smaller or do something different for your wedding day – I can confidently assure your that have a smaller wedding is going to help take a lot of that pressure off your shoulders.
#2: LESS VENDOR STRESS
I think that for the most part, 90% of vendors are cordial with each other and with your guests, wedding party, family etc. but sadly, that’s not always a guarantee. Having a smaller wedding and choosing vendors that either value inclusivity & cooperation, or have worked with your other vendors before is an incredibly ideal situation for you. Especially if they do/have worked together before because everyone understands how the others approach the day and all it’s various elements. Which means that they are going to help keep things on time and going smoothly.
A different side to that coin is less stress in having to choose so many vendors! Typically if you are working with a planner they have a list of go-to people that they can confidently refer, but even if you don’t have a planner that has that, most vendors have recommendations for other vendors they trust and 9 times out of 10 – it’s because they have worked with them before. This list is entirely dependent on if your smaller wedding will still have traditional elements or if it becomes a very laid-back evening, but I think the ideal vendors for a small wedding are:
Planner (if wanting to still have traditional aspects that require someone keeping an eye on the time and/or set up)
Photographer
Videographer
Florist
Officiant
DJ (if still having traditional reception elements like speeches, special dances and general dancing)
Ask me about my preferred vendor list! 🙂
#3: INTIMACY IN STORYTELLING
Having a smaller wedding typically means that the overall environment is more intimate because of who is there. Typically from what I’ve seen of my covid weddings this year, the guests included in the actual day are some of the closest people to the couple. Whether that’s friends or family, it’s always the people that they genuinely cannot imagine their day without. This kind of intimacy actually affects the overall vibe of the day and how it looks. We photographers love the more intimate moments because it’s a more authentic representation of the couple and not only their relationship with each other, but also everyone present. I feel like intimacy is kind of a taboo word, but I don’t think it has to be! There is so much beauty in an intimate gathering of friends and family, and I think that deserves to be photographed accurately! Intimacy also means that there isssssss…
#4: MORE RAW EMOTION
Weddings that are smaller in size tend to be filled with more expressed emotion. That’s because most people are more inclined to be vulnerable when surrounded by a handful of close friends/family. I mean think about it… who are we most likely to be vulnerable with? And why? Because there’s already been a foundation of trust and connection with those people, right? Most of the time, they have walked a lot of life with us – they celebrated our accomplishments, and supported us during our failures. It only makes sense that when surrounded by those people, we feel more relaxed and comfortable and therefore are more likely to express our emotions with them.
Now I understand… not everyone wants their tears to be the center of attention – and I get that. But tastefully capturing the genuine emotion from the day is what transports you back to that moment when flipping through your album months and years later. Emotion isn’t a bad thing! I can’t tell you how many times I jokingly hear the phrase “make sure you delete those!!” during an emotional moment 😉 and though I 100% understand why that’s said, I always try and encourage them back by saying, “So and so is going to LOVE looking at these memories with you! They are so special!!”
I think it’s natural to assume the joy will be captured, but joy can manifest in so many different ways because humans express emotion differently! And my job is to deliver a wedding gallery filled with photos that are meant to be an authentic expression of your relationship, not just with each other, but also with those present with you on wedding day.
#5: LESS FAMILY DRAMA
Let’s be real, family dynamics can be hard. And maybe what you’re thinking in this moment is, “But doing something less traditional is going to really make some people upset” and even though I truly understand that, it’s important to remember what’s important and what this day is all about. When you break down everything there are two things that remain – you and your fiancé, and the fact that you’re getting married – as long as those two things remain the priority, I think your family members that might have a hard time letting go of the traditional will realize what’s most important as well. It can be hard to balance the feelings and emotions of other people involved in your day, even though they 100% have the right to feel the way they do, but ultimately this day about you and your fiancé and if making the decision that best for you to get married means nixing the larger traditional day – nobody should make you feel bad for that.
#6: ALL ABOUT YOU
This rings true whether you have a smaller wedding or not, but unfortunately, something I have not only witnessed but also have been told by lots of couples is that they feel like they have to perform on wedding day. There’s nerves to stand in front 150+ people. You want to make sure dinner happens smoothly and that you don’t have hangry guests. You want to make sure everyone is accommodated and happy just like I said above.
But having a smaller wedding means you don’t have to feel as much pressure to fulfill all of that, you can REALLY make your day yours and create something that is truly meaningful for you both. And if that differs from family opinions, you don’t need to feel bad about it. If having a smaller wedding means having a slow morning together and having brunch with your immediate family – you get to make that happen. If that means getting ready together and enjoying those quiet moments between you both – you get to make that happen. If that means running off to your favorite state park, or finding a cute airbnb and enjoying a dinner with those closest to you while exchanging stories and laughs – then you get to make that happen. And guess what? If that means having 150+ guests – THAT’S AMAZING. Make it happen.
At the end of the day, this is about you and your fiancé promising forever together and these photos hold so much meaning because of that. My goal is to accurately represent you both and what was important to you on wedding day – and I’ve noticed that smaller weddings are the perfect way to make that happen.
#7: EXPERIENCES > STUFF
There is definitely NEVER any pressure to have a smaller wedding or elopement that become this super intense outdoor option that provides breathtaking hikes and phenomenal views. But if the experiences you have with your family and friends is more important to you than any materialistic thing you could own, there is so much value in opting for something that provides you that experience and putting your money there as opposed to towards napkins, tablecloths, rentals, favors etc etc. again, not that those things are bad by any means, but experiencing life with your loved ones will always mean more than any item you can purchase with some Benjamins.
And if you happen to be the more adventurous type, then this is even more of a perfect option for you!
#8: THE OPPORTUNITY FOR ADVENTURE
You obviously can’t trek 150+ guests up a mountain or to a state park. But you can definitely make that happen with 10-20 of your closest people. And craving an adventurous day is totally going to provide you with the experiences I talked about above. Travel and exploring God’s creation is something I definitely enjoy. I may not necessarily do it as often as I would like, but every time I have I have always come back home with some of the most incredible memories. Imagine being able to blend the incredible plates this world has to offer with one of the best days of your life, surrounded by the people that mean the most to you. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a recipe for success to me!
And even if you two decide that having others there isn’t what you want, that’s totally something that can happen too. And honestly, having time with the just the two of you provides….
#9: THE OPPORTUNITY FOR EPIC PHOTOS
There are definitely some really incredible venues in this world, and they provide an unmatched beauty all on their own. But imagine being able to look into your fiancé’s eyes and say your vows over one of your most favorite mountains, or views, or locations. Your love is incredibly beautiful on it’s own, and the would shine through your photos no matter what… but include some absolutely breathtaking scenery into the mix and WOW… these photos are most definitely going to be incredibly special to you and will LITERALLY become art on your walls!
#10: YOU MAKE MEMORIES YOU WOULDN’T OTHERWISE MAKE
The last thing I wanted to say is just in regards to my own experience with postponing a wedding and doing something smaller. And that’s that we wouldn’t have made the exact memories we did if we didn’t do the smaller option! Does that mean we wouldn’t have made other memories? No of course not. But there is nothing that I would trade for the experiences I had with Ryan as we navigated our day. Driving out to Arizona and finding a spot to say our vows was, I’ll admit, a tiny bit stressful, but we did it and found an incredible spot. And being able to walk with my dad down the aisle knowing that I may not have been able to in the weeks to come (he has stage 4 lung cancer) meant more to me than anything. He’s still with us, so put that smile back on your face 🙂 but knowing he was able to witness that and for me knowing that I had my dad with me when I married day best friend was priceless.
PLUS even if you DO value having other people with you on your wedding day, you can always choose to do something later on down the road (either on your 1 year anniversary or before). Ryan and I are actually going to do the whole entire thing again on May 2nd of this year. I don’t think anyone should feel like they were robbed of their wedding day – if anything, we’ve been blessed with the ability to go through that day twice 🙂
Trust me, I know how hard it can be to have to make these decisions.. I walked this road too! But ultimately when you prioritize what’s most important and don’t lose sight of that, you’ll make it out just fine! Which you would do anyway because you’re awesome… but you know what I mean 😉
leave a comment